Holy Camel !
A Priest, a Nun, and a Camel were crossing the desert. The camel falls dead.
Before I die the father says, "I would like to see a woman naked."
So the nun takes off all her clothes. She then says, "before I die I would like to see a man naked."
So the father takes off his clothes. She looks at his penis and says, "My God!! What is that for?"
He says "You stick it in a hole and it brings forth life."
The nun replies, "Then how about you stick it up that camels ass and let`s get the hell out of here!"

Sender:- Salim

Sex Lubricant!
A man longs to wed a maiden with her virtue intact. He searches for one but resigns himself to the fact that every female over the age of 10 in his town has been at it.
Finally he decides to adopts a baby girl from the orphanage. He raises her until she is walking and talking and then sends her away to a monastery for safekeeping until marrying age. After many years she finally reaches maturity and he retrieves her from the monastery and marries her.
After the wedding they make their way back to his house and into the bedroom where they both prepare themselves for the consummation. They lie down together in his bed and he reaches over for a jar of petroleum jelly.
"Why the jelly?" she asks him.
"So I don't hurt your most delicate parts during the act of lovemaking," he replies.
"Well, why don't you just spit on your cock like the monks did?"

Sender:- Ashok Sinha

Oral sex
A Priest had been in confessions all day without a break. He really had to take a dump, and his blatter was about to burst because he hadn't been able to relieve himself all day. People kept coming to confess and the line was backed up already and he hated to leave. But he peeked out of his cubicle and signaled the janitor to come over. He asked the janitor to cover for him and gave him the confessions book then sped off in the direction of the bathroom.
The janitor was a little bewildered but he went into the cubicle and sat down. A woman came knelt in front of his window and said, "Father I have sinned. I cheated on my husband."
The janitor scanned in the book until he found "adultery".
He told the woman to say 50 "Hail Mary's" and wash in holy water.
Next came a man who told the janitor, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I had oral sex with another man."
The janitor looked and looked but he couldn't find a penance listed for oral sex. He leans out of the cubicle and whispered to an altar boy, "Hey, boy, what does the priest give for oral sex?"
With a smile, the boy replied, "Five dollars and a candy bar!"

Sender:- Ashok Sinha

Good and Bad
There once was a set of identical twin brothers. One lived a godly life. He was a good husband and father, reputable businessman, and did lots of community service.
The other one was a hell-raiser. He drank, cheated on his wife, stole and lied. They both died at about the same time. The good twin was in heaven and could look down on the bad twin in hell.
Hell was not as the good twin imagined. His brother was drinking and partying, kissing beautiful women and dancing his butt off.
The good twin saw St. Peter and said to him, "Mind you, I'm not complaining. This place is peaceful and beautiful, but my brother down there looks like he's having the time of his life. He has his own beer barrel and just look at that gorgeous woman he is kissing."
St. Peter put an arm on the man's shoulder and said, "My son, all is not as it seems. The barrel has a hole in it. The woman doesn't.

Sender:- Sandeep

Milk....
A man walks into a tee shirt store. There are 3 shirts on display.
The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below the picture is titled... "Got Milk".
The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a whitemustache. It is entitled.... "Forgot milk".
The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache on it. It is entitled ...."Not Milk...."

Sender:- Sandeep

Arz kiya hai:
I am a dog and u r a flower,
gaur farmaiega I am a dog and u r a flower,
so let me lift my leg n give u a shower!

Sender:- Amit chaudhary

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