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| Submitted By Users |
| Extreme Funny |
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Animal Jokes |
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Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit ...
didn`t like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn`t often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes. He told them that they could have 3 wishes each.
Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females.
The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head.
Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit`s wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish.
Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine.
Mr. Bear could not believe it and Complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world.
The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish.
Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rode off as fast as he could!
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| Sender:- Sumit |
This woman is driving into a small town and slams on the brakes as a goat runs across the road in front of her. Just as she regains her wits and gets ready to proceed, a cowboy runs right in front of her and catches the goat by the hind legs and starts screwing it.
"Oh my God!" she exclaims and drives into town to find the sherrif.
She sees the sheriff's car parked in front of the town bar.
"It figures...," she says as she storms inside. The first thing she notices is an old, old man with a long white beard sitting in the corner jacking-off. She runs up to the sheriff who's sitting at the bar with his drink.
"What kind of sick town are you running here?! I drive into town and almost run over some cowboy sodomizing an animal....and then...I come in here....and see this old man in the corner jacking-off right in public!!!!??"
Well, ma'am," the sheriff slowly replies, "you don't expect him to catch a goat at his age, do you?"
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| Sender:- Amar |
So this lady elephant is walking along the forest, when she gets a sliver in her foot. It`s really quite painful, so when she sees this bunny rabbit on the forest floor, she asks him to pull the sliver out.
The rabbit says, "Okay, but if I do this favour for you, you have to promise to do a favour for me."
"Alright," says the elephant, "what?"
"Well you see," says the rabbit, "I haven`t gotten my rocks off in a long time. I`ve had no action at all, and I thought that you might help me."
The elephant is a little shocked, but she wants that sliver out, so she agrees.
So the rabbit pulls the sliver out and says, "Okay, get ready," and jumps up there and starts going to town with the elephant.
This monkey in a tree nearby sees this little bunny rabbit going at with the elephant, and he starts jumping up and down and laughing in the tree. He jumps so hard that a coconut falls out of the tree and hits the elephant on the head.
The elephant says, "Ouch!"
And the rabbit says, "That`s right bitch, take it all!" |
| Sender:- Rishi |
Zebra And Bull
A Zebra somehow managed to get loose from a zoo and wandered into the countryside.He came to a farm where the thing he saw was a sheep.
"What do you do?" asked the Zebra.
"I grow wool."
Then he saw a cow. "What do you do?"
"I give milk."
Next he saw a hen. "What do you do?"
"I lay eggs." Then he saw a bull. "What do you do."
"Take off those pyjamas and I`ll show you." |
| Sender:- Amar |
Bravo!!
Three Mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.
The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth and then bench press it 100 times."
The Second Mouse looking unimpressed, orders two shots of tequila, grabs one in each paw, slams the shots, and pounds the glasses to the bar. He turns to the other mice and replies, "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, grind it up and take it home and put in my coffee in the morning and I get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."
The first and second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says, "I have no time for all this bullshit, I gotta go home and fuck the Cat." |
| Sender:- Rajeev |
Finding a virgin !
An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never been (sexually) with a woman. After several nsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad.
She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback. They end up getting married. On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the festivities. "What happened?" she asks.
"I`ve never been with a woman" he says, "but if it`s anything like screwing a kangaroo... I`m gonna need all the room I can get!"
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| Sender:- Amar |
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